D FLAT

If you read the last post, you are aware of my growing concern over the success or lack of success of The Golden Compass, one of my favorite stories.  The movie, for lack of a better word, sucks.  It suffers from the same thing all books that are translated to movie suffer; it lacked the appropriate amount of time to convey the complicated nature of the story.  The only movies ever given the necessary screen time to adequately depict the books are Tolkien’s trilogy.  The movies were a lot like the books, in fact; I can recall Jackson’s camera movement spending so much time in one spot that I could memorize the details of the rocks around Frodo’s ring.  Like the movie, Tolkien described each brief passing detail until you have read thirty pages and you realize that Frodo is still standing next to a stone statue that look like a goblin.  I get it Mr. Tolkien, it’s not moss growing on the poor statue but its lichen and I also know this is odd because trees have lichen, not statues.  I don’t recall if that’s the actual detail he starts ranting on but I’m sure it’s in there.  It’s been a while.  

I digressed…  I hate when that happens.  So, the movie is “shite.”  It went by all too fast.  Not to mention they changed around some order of events.  If you have read about Phillip Pullman, his method of writing involves a lot of storyline structure planning via hundreds of post-it notes.  I don’t think he settled on the series of events depicted in the book simply out of chance.  He settled on it because it made sense.  If you have any questions about my knowledge of his writing method, please visit www.hisdarkmaterials.com.  You can be “in the know,” like me.  

(SPOILER ALERT)  Disregard this next several paragraph if you don’t want to get your shit ruined.  

The movie starts out pretty closely following the book.  I liked it as a matter of fact.  Dakota, the girl who played Lyra was pretty fucking awesome.  She hit the nail on the head.  Also, according to some article I read in the beginning of 2007, she got approval from Pullman as a fit for the physical characteristics of Lyra.  This sort of tells me that the people who made the movie may not have read the book.  That’s also evident if you watch the film.  Bastards!  

I’m not sure if I should move my spoiler warning because that previous paragraph didn’t spoil anything but my train of thought.  I derailed like a son-of-a-bitch.  Okay, spoilers coming, I promise.

Alright, right into the meat.  Lyra is supposed to be captured by the Inuit hunters and taken to the “Gobblers.”  This makes sense because the hunters sell her to them.  In the movie, they take her to the bears…  WHY IN THE NAME OF GODS BASTARD SON (They weren’t married, technically a bastard.) WOULD THEY TAKE HER TO THE FUCKING BEARS?  Bears don’t pay money to kidnap kids.  Bears don’t give a shit about people in general.  So once she was there, they did stay pretty true to the book with her deception and Iorek’s slapping off Ragnar’s fucking jaw.  That was phat!  Anyway, after this series of event cluster-fuck, they somehow proceed to deliver her to the “Gobblers.” They ruin this shit too.  She was in and out in a few minutes… I’m not sure if she had time to even figure out what the fuck was going on.  The remainder was pretty close to the book and pretty sweet. A giant polar bear smashing shit is fun to watch; I don’t care what you say.  After this, the movie ends without getting to the actual climax which is when Asriel kills her friend, Rodger, to bridge the gap between the two worlds… Way to make me hate you, Hollywood.  Also, with the movie sinking like the fucking Lusitanian, I doubt we will ever see the sequel.  Funny thing is, I saw a commercial or something with the final scene of the book in it which makes me think they filmed it but simply pulled a Lord of the Rings type ending.  Didn’t even get to Shelob? Really?  Fuck you Jackson, fuck you Weitz.  Well, Jackon at least delivered, eventually.  

(SPOILER END)

Alright, now that I have ranted about my take on The Golden Compass movie, let me take one more second of your time while I polish Philip Pullman’s preverbal knob one more time.  It’s a great trilogy and I like it better than any trilogy to date.  I suggest you witless fucks out there take a few hours out of your, oh so busy, schedule to read them. 

I’m gaining weight again. After a long period of losing it, I feel my concentration on the task feigning. I must not let that happen. Diligence is difficult but it is a sound virtue. I’ve immersed myself in the world of “His Dark Materials” lately. I have read them before but it had been such a long time I decided to do so again in light of the movie that was recently released. I should have known better. I always find myself falling victim to my imagination when I live in a world of logical concreteness. It’s more of a burden and even though I recognize this, I can not force myself to pull away from the delicious nectar. It makes me long for adventure in my own life but I know adventure is not something easily obtained. Our world is governed by stringent rules that prevent it. Employment, money, law, and other obligation are the oppressors. They are not evil things that oppress but instead are some of the most honest. They give reason and even enjoyment. Through my eyes; however, they look like shackles and though they do not hold my hands or bind my feet, I feel stuck and unmoving. I feel as a ship might feel stuck on a reef. It knows that it is not meant to lie upon the earth and longs to bob up and down in the waves, free.

The books are inventive and wonderful as are the characters within. I hope it isn’t the evangelical protests that are causing it to be a box office loser. It truly is a wonderful story. I suppose it never helped Pullman’s cause by quoting the likes of Milton and Blake. If you have never read the books, read them. The story is that of friendship, love, redemption and regret. It will open your heart and mind to new ideas. This is probably what the Church is afraid of and protests. It’s funny that similar themes are expressed in the books. It’s almost a parallel.

I'm late again. Living an excruciating 33 miles from work is starting to take its toll on me. It’s hard to wake up early when all you really want to do is sleep just a few more minutes every morning. Once upon a time it wouldn’t have been odd to find me here as early as 7:30AM, a full hour before I have to be there. It’s easy when you can’t sleep because you have too much to do. I’m sure you know what that’s like. If you don’t, you’re lucky. At least the drive to work is mostly pleasant. Sitting in the car, listening to music really gets me started in the morning. It’s my breakfast, doesn’t quite stop my stomach from growling but its filling in its own way.

SR-71 is currently in my CD player. I’ve made my rounds through my music collection and to cleanse my palate I have shoved them in. They will remain there for a while. Mitch Allen is a very talented vocalist and writer. If you have not heard of SR-71, you have probably heard of Bowling for Soup. I bring them up only because the song that made them famous (1985) was written and performed by SR-71. Bowling for Soup made it a little more pop and it was a hit. Of course, it would have helped had SR-71 not only released it in Japan.

Making it to work is a feat in itself. Every day I'm dodging ambulances and fire trucks. I imagine the statistics for fires and accidents around here are off the charts, unless the operators of these vehicles just enjoy driving around urgently. Either way, I made it to work.

I’m a Website Administrator with a background in software and web-based programming. I work mostly in C# but I won’t let Microsoft limit what platform I develop for. I work at a county government office. Unspectacular, I know. But what would you have me do? The money is good and it’s a good way to get your foot in the industry. I’m 23 years old and not even finished with school. I attend DeVry University. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Wow, this kid just excels at mediocrity.” And, maybe you’re right. But, I don’t feel mediocre at all. This “blog”, I hope, will serve as an understanding to that end.